As someone who already watches
too much television, the last thing I needed was another reason to stay on the
couch and avoid other activities. But when DISH Network added Buzzr to its
channel options, I knew I was in trouble.
What is Buzzr? It’s what
Game Show Network used to be when that channel was worth watching. The lineup
includes the classic celebrity panel shows from the 1950s (What’s My Line, I’ve Got a
Secret, To Tell the Truth) and
many of the 1970s hits the played daily mornings and afternoons throughout the
decade – Sale of the Century, Press Your Luck, Tattletales, Match Game, Password Plus.
For some fans these shows
are the ultimate in comfort TV – bright lights, bold colors, happy hosts,
chirpy music, and nice people winning stuff they need. Here’s what I learned
after about two weeks of watching several hours worth of vintage game shows
every day.
In Card Sharks,
the worst thing you can do is pass.
I can’t even count how many
times a contestant froze on a pretty decent card – like a five or a jack – and then lost
control of the board and subsequently lost the game when their opponent ran the
table. When you have control of the cards, you should keep it. And yes, I
realize this advice is about 30 years too late to do anyone any good.
Table shuffleboard can be exciting.
The 1970s version of Beat the Clock pitted two teams of
couples against each other, with a winning team decided by a table shuffleboard
game, in which players alternated sliding discs toward a series of lines
representing escalating sums of money. Whichever team had completed more stunts
at that point received three discs while the other team received two. You
wouldn’t think there would be that many variations in what could happen, but
every match I watched was more exciting than anything I saw at last year’s Rio
Olympics.
Jim Perry was really good at his job
In the show business
hierarchy, game show hosts have never ranked very high.
But in watching these shows
one does gain renewed appreciation for their talents – especially when compared
to their modern-day counterparts on some of the classic game show revivals. One
of the very best was Jim Perry, who spend three decades hosting games shows in
the U.S. and Canada.
The tall, lanky Perry had
all the qualities we associate with a good host. He could calm the nervous
contestants, rein in the ones that were too excited, and seemed to actually
listen after asking the standard “Tell us a little about yourself” question. He
could say to a parting contestant “Good luck raising those giant vegetables”
and sound like he really meant it. Perry spent four years on Card Sharks but
was at his best on Sale of the Century.
He was a smooth salesmen in trying to get contestants to risk the money they
earned with special offers, and received able support from the radiant Summer
Bartholemew, a former Miss USA back when that title actually got you real jobs.
Match Game stretched
the definition of “star.”
Think Dancing With the Stars sometimes wanders too far out into the
showbiz hinterlands to find its contestants? If it does, it’s just following
the path forged by Match Game in the
1970s. Usually these borderline stars occupied the lower-left spot on the tier
next to Richard Dawson. Many were attractive young women that Gene Rayburn
could welcome with a kiss and then affectionately tease (or as some prefer in 2017,
sexually harass). When the contestant’s answer was “boobs,” as it was at least
three times every week, Gene could turn to these ladies and say “Show us your
boobs,” or “Have you got boobs as well?”
Let’s see how many of these
names are familiar to you: Ann Elder, Trish Stewart, Sarah
Kennedy, Stu Gilliam, Marcia Rodd, Tudi Wiggins.
Whoever’s doing the Buzzr promos was a Nick at Nite
fan.
You can tell the style. They’re
clever and funny and celebrate the shows without making fun of them, a
temptation that may have been tough to resist given how awash they were in ‘70s
fashion.
They will make you nostalgic for things you may have
forgotten.
To hear Johnny Olsen say
‘Stay tuned for Love of Life over
most of these CBS stations’ is to be transported back to another time. I never
watched Love of Life but I remembered
that promo, and changing the channel while the opening credits played.
Double Dare deserved
a better fate
I was delighted to see Double Dare on Buzzr’s weekend schedule,
as the show only lasted for one year (1976-1977).
The concept had contestants
trying to guess the identity of people, places or things from a series of clues
that progress from cryptic to giveaway. My favorite part was the bonus round,
when host Alex Trebek introduced the winning contestant to “The Spoilers,”
three stern-faced PhDs, each in their own soundproof booth. When one of the
Spoilers guessed the right answer, he received 100 bucks. Eight years of
intensive study at major universities, just to sit in a glitzy cubicle on a
game show.
All this, plus Family Feud with Richard Dawson, Blockbusters, Body Language, Child's Play, Now You See It – I may not leave the house until Labor Day.
