The Love Boat: Sailing Away from Cynicism

 

My classic TV viewing is rarely influenced by current events. However, at those moments that the world situation seems more depressing than usual, I often find myself drifting toward less challenging shows.

When a temporary escape from dire headlines is warranted, the carefree appeal of a frivolous series like The Love Boat is particularly welcome. What sounds better to you right now – another story about Ebola, lone-wolf terrorism, school shootings and contentious political campaigns, or an open smile on a friendly shore? 

Escapism was always one of the series’ selling points, even if viewers were only escaping something as mundane as winter. From 1977 to 1987, the show embarked on each new season as autumn leaves began to fall, and sailed through the months when days were shorter and weather forecasts promised blizzards and cold, bleak temperatures.

Growing up in the Chicago suburbs I can still recall watching The Love Boat on Saturday nights and gazing, longingly, at the bright sunshine and clear blue skies as the Pacific Princess sailed out of port. As each week’s swimsuit-clad voyagers lounged on the Lido deck, sipping tropical drinks and discussing day trips into Mazatlán or Puerto Vallarta, it felt like a virtual vacation from the frozen wasteland outside my bedroom window. 

Critics hated it, of course. It didn’t have the gravitas of Hill Street Blues (as if that was the objective). How dare any series possess no higher aspirations than showcasing nice people in attractive scenery, and simple stories of romance. But in the era that brought us the Iran hostage crisis, the last throes of the Cold War, the Unabomber, the murder of John Lennon and other depressing news, I’m sure millions of viewers appreciated the break. The show came along at a good time.

And the timing was also favorable when it came to casting. In the late 1970s and early 1980s, many of Hollywood’s golden age stars were still performing, even if opportunities to do so were not as prevalent. The Love Boat‘s prestigious passenger list includes June Allyson, Van Johnson, Lana Turner, Joseph Cotten, Olivia de Havilland, Greer Garson, Joan Fontaine, Stewart Granger and Ginger Rogers.

Television stars past and present filled out the remaining roles, along with a few frequent travelers who qualified as celebrities, though at the time we didn’t know why, exactly: Bert Convy, Mary Ann Mobley, Dr. Joyce Brothers, and the ubiquitous Charo, who seemed to check in at least once a month. 

The Love Boat crew was as responsible for the series’ success and longevity as its guest stars. I can’t prove it, and have not found any polling on the subject (academia is shockingly bereft of scholarly research on The Love Boat) but for me it was the friendly and reliable presence of Gavin McLeod, Fred Grandy, Ted Lange, Bernie Kopell and Lauren Tewes that anchored the series though episodes good and bad.

What a wonderful job that must have been. With the stories carried by the passengers, your captain, yeoman purser, doctor, bartender and cruise director received scripts with one-third of the lines they would have to memorize on a typical hour-long series. Kopell and Grandy had so much free time they also wrote several stories. And once or twice each season a crewmember would get to play a moment that required extra depth and effort, and they were always up to the task.

I had it bad for Julie McCoy, who seemed like one those sweet and wholesome girls that you would be proud to take home to mom. That says something about my naiveté as a viewer, because in nine seasons she invited a lot of guys back to her cabin. At the time I thought they were just getting together to sip hot chocolate and play some board games. 

As with any long running series, even one with such a pliable premise, The Love Boat eventually began to lose its mojo. I never thought Jill Whelan was the Cousin Oliver of the cruise lines, but most people didn’t get why Vicki was necessary. Lauren Tewes’ one-season departure disrupted crew chemistry, and the late addition of the Love Boat Mermaids and series-killer Ted McGinley (as ship photographer Ace) smacked of desperation.

But even in its least inspired moments, The Love Boat was a refreshing oasis of optimism in a desert of cynicism. It was weekly wish fulfillment that reassured all of us losers that there really was someone out there for everyone. 

And if nothing else, it was a time capsule for an era of film, television and popular culture that we rightly recall as magical. Artist Andy Warhol sailed on the Pacific Princess. So did Donna Reed and Dolly Parton, Hulk Hogan and Lillian Gish, the Hudson Brothers and the Pointer Sisters. Luise Rainer, who won back-to-back Oscars in 1936 and 1937, appeared on The Love Boat (playing twins!). Janet Jackson was there at the beginning of her career, and it was where Janet Gaynor, the first Best Actress Oscar winner in 1928, gave her final performance. 

The first two seasons of The Love Boat are available on DVD. In discouraging times like these, the rest of the run cannot be released too soon. 

The Top 20 TV Theme Songs of the 1980s

 

As with last year’s series of blogs on essential television series by decade, this series on theme songs will also conclude with the 1980s. Not only is this the last decade that qualifies as Comfort TV, it’s also the last one where a theme song was an essential part of the viewing experience. It might be an interesting challenge to try and find 20 great songs form the 1990s, but I fear the selections would be pretty scarce after Friends, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The X-Files.

Cheers

The 1980s doesn’t seem like that long ago – to me, anyway – yet think about how times have changed. Back then an ode to a bar as heartening as “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” was actually commended, and not condemned for encouraging alcoholism. 

Hill Street Blues

Another outstanding (and Grammy-winning) theme from Mike Post, the genre’s most prolific and successful composer. Good thing he came up with something this appealing for Hill Street Blues, since it would have to play long enough to introduce what seemed like 30 or 40 regulars in every episode. 

The Golden Girls

“Thank you for Being a Friend” was written and recorded by Andrew Gold in 1978, and then revived (with new vocals by Cynthia Fee) for this beloved sitcom. It’s a perfect fit.

Miami Vice

If any television theme screams 1980s, it’s this electronic musical assault from Jan Hammer. Probably not the sort of piece you listen to very often anymore, but then not everything that seemed cool 30 years ago has managed to retain that status.

Wings

And while some compositions like the Miami Vice theme have their moment in the sun and then fade into history, others endure for hundreds of years. The Wings theme is actually the Rondo movement from Franz Schubert’s Sonata in A, written in 1828. Sadly, it only lasted through the series’ first season and half of season two. 

The Greatest American Hero

The Joey Scarbury hit “Believe it or Not” is one of those songs that are kind of awesome and kind of terrible at the same time. But who didn’t love the pop culture boost it received from George Costanza’s answering machine on Seinfeld?

Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors

‘80s kids grew up with cartoons created primarily to sell toys. The themes were mostly generic, but the intro to Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors had an over-the-top hair metal vibe that still sounds great. And the toys were underrated too.

Twin Peaks

Perhaps no other series used music to establish tone and atmosphere as effectively as Twin Peaks. The extraordinary theme and score by Angelo Badalamenti created a sense of foreboding that hung over every scene. It’s impossible to think of the show without it. 

It’s a Living

With its full orchestra and soaring vocal arrangements, this lively theme sounds like something written for a classic 1940s Broadway musical. 

St. Elsewhere

Dave Grusin’s lilting jazz theme for this always excellent (and always low-rated) drama was the best of his many television works, which also include the themes for Maude, Good Times and It Takes a Thief. 

Newhart

Bob Newhart’s second successful sitcom had a subversive streak that belied its bucolic setting. But its simple, beautiful theme had no such undertones. It’s just a really sweet and cozy piece of music from Henry Mancini, a composer who also contributed to my list of top 20 themes from the 1950s. 

The Winds of War

Technically this was a miniseries, but there were 14 episodes between The Winds of War and its sequel, War and Remembrance, and that’s more than some shows manage. The magnificent theme was created by Robert Cobert, whose work with series producer Dan Curtis dates back to their days on Dark Shadows. 

Moonlighting

If you look back over TV history, you find that all of the coolest shows have music that complements this admirable quality. Do the songs become cooler by association, or do they succeed on their own merits? With Moonlighting the answer is obvious. One can groove to Al Jarreau’s jazzy theme without ever meeting David Addison, Maddie Hayes or Miss DiPesto.

My Sister Sam

Not a lot of happy memories associated with this situation comedy, given the tragic murder of costar Rebecca Schaeffer. But it was a good show with much potential, and a theme in Kim Carnes’ “Room Enough for Two,” that under different circumstances would be much better known. 

Thirtysomething

This soothing piece by W.G. Snuffy Walden always reminds me of Pachelbel’s Canon in D.

It’s Garry Shandling’s Show

Here is the first theme song to send up the very concept of the theme song. Shandling’s self-aware series was a forerunner to the kind of meta-television we take for granted now. 

Highway to Heaven

David Rose wrote music for three shows starring Michael Landon ­– Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie and Highway to Heaven. And each time it set the appropriate mood for the stories that followed. I like the trumpet on this theme better than the one on Dynasty. 

The A-Team

A rousing march and one last curtain call for Mike Post, who (with long-time partner Pete Carpenter) scored a big part of our classic TV heritage.

Beauty and the Beast

One of television’s most beloved cult series was graced by a theme (by Lee Holdridge) with all the romance and gravitas of a classic film score. Check out the beautiful rendition by the City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra.

Duck Tales

Those infectious “Woo-hoos” have stuck with Generation X the same way that “Watch out for that tree!” can still make a Baby Boomer smile after all these years. 

The Top 20 TV Theme Songs of the 1970s

 

I haven’t perceived a significant change in approach to TV themes from the 1960s into the 1970s, beyond a more prevalent use of pop songs to encourage crossover promotion. There are still plenty of outstanding contenders to choose from, and several worthy examples that fell just short (my apologies to One Day at a Time, The Waltons and Land of the Lost, among others).

We begin, however, with what is arguably the best television theme song of all time.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show

The season one version of The Mary Tyler Moore Show theme is more than just a catchy tune or a means to introduce characters; it told the story of a generation of women breaking free from traditional stereotypes (“How will you make it on your own?”), and encapsulated a transitional moment in the culture. In subsequent seasons the lyrics changed to a celebration of the charms of Mary Richards, thus rendering the theme less substantive but still memorable. 

The Incredible Hulk

We are currently awash in superhero films and TV shows, all scored with some variation on a bold, John Williams-like orchestral fanfare. So it’s surprising that one of the first successful transitions of a Marvel character into television, particularly one as powerful as the Hulk, would rely instead on a poignant piano piece called “The Lonely Man,” which focused more on the misfortune of the scientist inside the monster, so affectingly played by Bill Bixby. 

Makin’ It

As I wrote in an earlier piece on TV theme songs that were better than the shows they introduced, “Makin’ It” was a Saturday Night Fever homage rip-off that debuted in February of 1979, and was canceled one month later. But the theme, performed by series star David Naughton, deservedly reached #5 on the Billboard chart. 

The Rockford Files

This is the first classic TV theme written by Mike Post (with Pete Carpenter). Post would go on to create equally memorable songs for several other series, including Hill Street Blues and Magnum P.I. While the song itself is distinctive, it’s really the jarring hodgepodge arrangement that puts it over. I’d wager that before this no one had written anything for blues harmonica, dobro, electric guitar, synthesizer, flute, French horn and trombone. 

Welcome Back, Kotter

Gabe Kaplan’s sitcom already had a theme selected, when former Lovin’ Spoonful lead singer John Sebastian submitted his effort. Producers quickly made a switch and the theme, Sebastian’s only solo hit, topped the Billboard chart in May of 1976.

The Love Boat

Is it cheesy? Sure it is. But this Paul Williams-Charles Fox composition set the right tone for a series that delivered breezy (and cheesy) romantic stories. The Jack Jones vocal adds an extra touch of Vegas schmaltz. Has anyone boarded a cruise ship in the last 30 years and not had this playing in their head?

Taxi

As with The Incredible Hulk, Taxi has a theme that offers a counterpoint to the series it introduces. The show featured loud, outlandish characters, a seedy setting and crass (at least for its time) punch lines, but it opened with “Angela,” a gentle, melancholy wisp of electronic jazz composed by Bob James.

S.W.A.T.

Every cop show should open with this blistering theme. Every single one. It would even make the lousy shows better. 

The Odd Couple

Neal Hefti’s theme has that instant earworm quality of the best TV theme songs, and once it gets inside it doesn’t go away easily, as illustrated in the most perfect Friends cold open in that series’ history. 

The Young and the Restless

A haunting, graceful piece of music with a complicated history. It was introduced in the 1971 film Bless the Beasts and Children as “Cotton’s Dream.” A new arrangement by cowriter Perry Botkin, Jr. was first heard on The Young and the Restless in 1973. But after ABC’s Wide World of Sports used “Cotton’s Dream” to score a compilation of gymnast Nadia Comaneci’s routines from the 1976 Olympics, the music became forever known as “Nadia’s Theme.”

Angie

The jubilant “Different Worlds” made the top 20, and you can still hear it performed live if you happen to catch the amazing Maureen McGovern in concert. Since Angie has been out of circulation for so long, there’s still a freshness to the tune that is unachievable by themes from more popular shows. 

The NBC Mystery Movie

Here we see an example of the exceptional craftsmanship we used to take for granted in television. Rather than a simple voiceover and teaser clips from each week’s mystery movie, NBC created a brief but unforgettable segment with a shadowy figure brandishing a flashlight, a cloud-filled orange sky, and an eerie whistling theme composed by Henry Mancini. 

M*A*S*H

“Suicide is Painless” was first heard in the film version of M*A*S*H, but worked equally well as an introduction to the long-running series. Mike Altman, the 14 year-old son of the film’s director, Robert Altman, wrote the lyric, which was never heard on the show. The song was so successful that it earned the teenager more than $1 million, more than ten times what Altman received to direct the movie.

The Bob Newhart Show

Classic TV fans may best know Lorenzo Music as Carlton the unseen doorman on Rhoda. He should be best known for co-creating The Bob Newhart Show and writing its theme, “Home to Emily.” Multiple arrangements were tried during the series’ 6 seasons, but it’s the longer version, with that soaring trumpet that plays as Bob indeed arrives home to Emily, that makes the track unforgettable. 

The Dukes of Hazzard

The saga of two good ol’ boys never meanin’ no harm, as performed by balladeer Waylon Jennings, was the fulfillment of what Dukes creator Gy Waldron told me he wanted from his show, back when I interviewed him for my book on the series. He wished for episodes to unfold like a great country song. That didn’t always happen, but the song that opened every show was a keeper.

Barney Miller

In the beginning there was that bass line. And then there were drums, and an electric guitar, and by the time the horn section had its say you were primed and ready for another visit to the 12^th Precinct. 

The Partridge Family

I think almost everyone prefers the “Come on get happy” version that played in seasons 2-4, over the “When we’re singing” theme from the first season. Either way it’s certainly one of the songs that epitomizes 1970s pop culture. 

Sigmund and the Sea Monsters

All of the Sid & Marty Krofft shows have memorable themes – H.R. Pufnstuf, The Bugaloos, Land of the Lost, Lidsville, etc.  I’ve selected “Friends” from Sigmund and the Sea Monsters as the pick of the litter, fully cognizant that the rendition by series star Johnny Whitaker does not bolster my case. 

The Jeffersons

Obviously a great song, with its spirited lead vocal (by Good Times star Ja’net Dubois) backed by a gospel chorus, but this is also a theme that resonated more deeply with African American communities, as a sign of long-overdue changing times. Beyoncé covered it on her 2013 tour.

Dallas

Westerns had all but disappeared on television by the 1970s.  Dallas is rarely classified that way, but its dynamic theme certainly recalls the glory days of the genre.

Next: The Top 20 Themes of the 1980s