Comfort TV proudly lives in
the past, so it’s rare when a current news headline will inspire a new piece.
But then I read that the Captain & Tennille are headed for divorce court
after nearly 40 years of marriage.
The two most prominent
reactions to this unexpected development were as follows:
1. Who? (This was from the
under-30 crowd)
2. I guess love “won’t”
keep them together (or a similar variation on one of their song titles – see
also “I guess he won’t be doing that to her one more time.”)
My first thought was, “I
wonder who gets custody of the bionic watermelon.”
Confused? You won’t be if
you were among those who watched the couple’s short-lived variety series. If
you missed it, there’s a “best of” DVD from R2 Entertainment featuring 11 of
the 20 episodes that aired on ABC from 1976-1977.
Is it worth a look? Yes, if
you have fond memories of ‘70s TV, when one hit song was enough to get you your
own show. New variety extravaganzas popped up every season, ranging from the
still entertaining (Donny & Marie, Sonny & Cher) to classic kitsch
(Tony Orlando & Dawn, Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis, Jr.) to "What were
they thinking?" (Pink Lady & Jeff, The Starland Vocal Band).
Within that groovy to gross
scale, the Captain & Tennille fit squarely in the middle of the road, much
like their music catalog. If you’re unsure about whether to revisit the show to
see Daryl Dragon and Toni Tennille in happier times, here are five highlights
and five lowlights from the R2 set.
Highlight: 1970s TV
Casts
These episodes feature
guest appearances from Charlie’s three original Angels, Gabe Kaplan and the Welcome
Back Kotter Sweathogs, the Happy
Days gang (including Pinky
Tuscadero!) and the cast of What’s Happening!
Lowlight: Erin Moran
sings “My Guy”
While it’s fun to see so
many classic TV casts outside their familiar roles, no one needed to hear
Joanie “Shortcake” Cunningham drone her way through a Motown classic.
Highlight: “Love Will
Keep Us Together”
The duo’s first hit,
written by Neil Sedaka, stayed at #1 for four weeks in 1975, and still sounds
great.
Lowlight: The Bionic
Watermelon
The show’s comedy bits have
not aged well. None was more groan-inducing than this tired takeoff on The
Six Million Dollar Man, about a
watermelon that falls off a truck, is put back together by scientists, and now
apprehends bank robbers by hurling itself at their heads.
The R2 set includes
performances from The Sylvers, Chaka Khan, Natalie Cole, Bread, Dionne Warwick,
Leo Sayer, and Heart with a live version of “Dreamboat Annie.”
Lowlight: The Captain’s
Hat Jokes
Besides his prodigious
keyboard skills, the only thing interesting about Daryl Dragon was his
trademark hat. This inspired several sets of purposely lame hat jokes, which
were the show’s way of acknowledging that Dragon had the personality of an
eggplant.
Sample: What goes on your
head and hit a lot of home runs? Babe Hat.
Highlight: Toni Sings
with her Sisters
From the Everly Brothers to
the Beach Boys to the BeeGees, there’s always something special about close
musical harmonies within families. Several episodes feature performances from
Toni and sisters Louisa and Melissa, including a wonderful salute to classic
girl groups from The Shirelles to The Shangri-Las.
Lowlight: Toni Sings with
Leonard Nimoy
Technically this isn’t a
duet – Toni and Daryl play piano while Nimoy recites one of his poems. Between
stanzas, Toni sings a few lines from Elton John’s “Your Song.” Surprisingly,
this isn’t one of the comedy segments.
Highlight: The Closing
Song
Most variety shows featured
a musical signoff, inspired by Carol Burnett’s famous “I’m so glad we had this
time together…” The Captain & Tennille closed each show with “We Never
Really Say Goodbye,” a lovely ballad as appealing as any of their charted
songs.
Lowlight: Run! Giant
Mutant Muskrats!
The DVD set includes not
one but two performances of the duo’s most unlikely hit, “Muskrat Love.” In
one, Toni peers into a gingerbread house that is home to Muskrat Susie and
Muskrat Sam. Faster than you can say, “Call the Orkin man!” Toni and Daryl are
inside the rodents’ residence, where they have a tea party and dance with their
furry new friends. The 1970s were indeed a strange and wondrous time.
And that’s just a sample of
the delights on this 3-DVD set, now available on amazon.com for…7 dollars and 6
cents. That’s less than ten cents per hat joke.