Television’s Tough Guy: Robert Conrad

In 1999 I wrote an article on The Wild, Wild West for Cowboys & Indians magazine, to coincide with the release of a movie adaptation of the series.

I contacted Robert Conrad’s publicist to ask if he had any comment on the film, which cast Will Smith in his iconic role of James West. 

A few days later I pressed the blinking ‘play’ button on my answering machine and heard Mr. Conrad’s voice. He thanked me for asking but politely turned down the interview request, adding: “Not only do I not want to talk about that film, I don’t even plan to see it.”

Turns out he was not alone in that decision.

As I’m sure you know he passed away recently, and is still being mourned by those like me who remember the time when he was on television as often as the My Pillow guy is now. He had been in poor health for a while, but not poor enough to turn down any chance to meet his fans, as my friend and fellow TV blogger Mitchell Hadley recalled. I’m sorry I never had the opportunity to shake his hand.

The Wild, Wild West remains the crown jewel in his television legacy, but it was not his first hit series. That would be Hawaiian Eye, a private detective drama that aired from 1959 to 1963. With his Brylcreem textured pompadour Conrad looked a little like James Dean back then – if Dean had a chiseled six-pack and voted for Eisenhower. 

I don’t know it well. It is one of a slew of ‘50s/’60s Warner Bros. detective shows (77 Sunset Strip, Bourbon Street Beat, Surfside Six) that have never been released on DVD. And the odds of Hawaiian Eye coming out are even more remote since many episodes included songs performed by lounge singer Cricket Blake (Connie Stevens), likely forever relegating the series to music rights purgatory. 

Two years after that show ended, Conrad returned to the small screen in one of the most daringly original and flat-out entertaining series ever devised.

The parallels between unflappable Secret Service agent James West and British Secret Service agent James Bond were not coincidence. Michael Garrison, who created The Wild, Wild West, had previously purchased the movie rights to Ian Fleming’s 007 novels. That was in 1955, when Hollywood wasn’t interested. By the time they came around, he had already sold them.

Undaunted, Garrison finally did his version of Bond, transferring the character to the American west in the 1870s. It was a risky move, since the boom in TV westerns had largely subsided by 1965. But the series’ mix of western elements with espionage and science fiction was something new and fresh.

Conrad fit the role of James West as perfectly as he fit into his excessively tight pants. He had the steel-eyed stare, the charm with the ladies, the fancy transportation, the array of gadgets to get him out of tight situations, and one advantage Bond never had – an equally resourceful partner in Artemus Gordon (Ross Martin). 

The Wild, Wild West had many memorable qualities – villains like Dr. Loveless and Count Manzeppi, those freeze-framed scenes that morphed into the animated opening credits, Artie’s endless array of disguises – but my favorite moments were always when West would hurl himself into a gang of thugs.

West: “There’s only four of them.”

Gordon: (after shooting one of them) “Three. Hardly worth your trouble”

This show had the best fight scenes of any TV western, and Conrad, with his running, jumping, and diving off barn roofs and moving stagecoaches, was the Jackie Chan of his day. He choreographed his fights and did most of his own stunts.

This is a good time to get reacquainted with this classic series. It holds up. And once you’re done here are some other Conrad credits that are always worth another look.

Centennial (1978)

“He did the stunts. I did the acting,” said Ross Martin of his Wild, Wild West costar, with tongue only slightly in cheek. But Conrad could act, and the role he was most proud of was that of the French-Canadian trapper Pasquinel in this extraordinary miniseries. It’s one of the best things that television has ever done. 

Columbo (1974)

In “An Exercise in Fatality” Conrad plays an embezzling fitness club owner who murders a franchisee that uncovers his shady dealings. A scuff on a waxed floor, a spilled cup of coffee and an order of Chinese takeout put Columbo on the killer’s trail. Robert Conrad had his detractors, and this is how they likely perceived him – cocky and arrogant. I’m sure they enjoyed watching his downfall here. 

Mission: Impossible (1970)

In “The Killer”, the best of Conrad’s three M:I guest appearances, he plays Edward Lorca, an assassin that does not plan any aspect of his jobs in advance. How will Phelps and his team react in time to Lorca’s random decisions?

Battle of the Network Stars

Everyone remembers the footrace he lost to Gabe Kaplan, but he took the loss like a gentleman, and captained his team to more than one victory in his seven Battle appearances. Conrad enjoyed these friendly competitions so much I think he said yes to shows like The Duke and A Man Called Sloane just so he’d get invited back to Pepperdine. My favorite Conrad moment came in Battle #6, when he put Leif Garrett in the dunk tank. Garrett began heckling him, mocking his age with an exaggerated “Sir,” until Conrad executed a perfect toss that dropped the punk in the drink.

Black Sheep Squadron (1976-1978)

Conrad played Major Pappy Boyington in this military drama set during World War II. Not one of my favorites, but there are fans for whom this is the quintessential Conrad series. 

Eveready Commercials

Next to the Polaroid ads with James Garner and Mariette Hartley, Conrad’s series of battery commercials may be the most memorable campaign featuring a famous actor. They played perfectly off his tough-guy image, and his smile at the end was a hint that he was in on the joke too. 

Godspeed, Mr. Conrad. I wish I had been home that day when you called.